27 Year Old Virgin

nexus321

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jun 1, 2014
Messages
63
I've read the Game and countless other pua books and practiced both nightgame and daygame for years. I've gotten numbers in the past but women have never answered when I called or texted.
Sometimes I would meet women I felt I really hit it off with and they ask for my number and ask me to call them. But when I did no response. This has happened hundreds of times. I've been really depressed about it. I started this journey when I was 17 (2007) and I'm 27 now and I don't have anything to show for it. In all this time I've been on a total of 5 dates and tried to kiss 3 girls, all of whom rejected me. I'm terrified to make a move now. I can start a conversation easily but I never know what to say or do to escalate the situation, I always feel like I'm molesting the other person or something and coming off as a creep if I touch her.


I'm really depressed because I've never had sex and a girlfriend. I'm scared, I feel like it may never happen for me. What should I do?
Is it too late for me? Please respond guys.
 

andersen09

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
May 12, 2016
Messages
231
nexus321 said:
I've read the Game and countless other pua books and practiced both nightgame and daygame for years. I've gotten numbers in the past but women have never answered when I called or texted.
Sometimes I would meet women I felt I really hit it off with and they ask for my number and ask me to call them. But when I did no response. This has happened hundreds of times. I've been really depressed about it. I started this journey when I was 17 (2007) and I'm 27 now and I don't have anything to show for it. In all this time I've been on a total of 5 dates and tried to kiss 3 girls, all of whom rejected me. I'm terrified to make a move now. I can start a conversation easily but I never know what to say or do to escalate the situation, I always feel like I'm molesting the other person or something and coming off as a creep if I touch her.


I'm really depressed because I've never had sex and a girlfriend. I'm scared, I feel like it may never happen for me. What should I do?
Is it too late for me? Please respond guys.

Hey man!

You're still 27 and got time and can see why you might be depressed.

Dealing with depression (Breaking it down)
To give you a sense of reality, when you feel depressed, it's best to see everything in technicality, not labeling a situation.

1. You say you've been practicing since 2007, but what does that mean?
A. How many approaches a day?
B. How many hours?
C. Has it been everyday? few times a week? Here and there every month?

This can be compared to sports, as in say Kobe.

A. Kobe practiced EVERY DAY for 8 hours with a goal of making 500 shots. And challenged every teammate to 1 on 1.

So when you say 10 years, break it down. And I can say with 90% assurance, it's not everyday.

What I'm pointing out is that your depression starts when you start generalizing time and idealizing where you should be. 'Ive done this for 10 years so I should be killing it women!" (But is it really 10 years? Or is it every other day you practiced?"

B. Have you broken down steps to see what you'll work on?

For example, imagine you decide to get good at basketball, and said I'm just going to keep playing til I get good, it won't work.
You have (dribbling, passing, courtship awareness, defense, crossovers, layups, floaters, 3 pointers, catch shoot, etc)

So with seduction you need to break it down. It might look like this
* (Body language, tonality, expression, skincare, apperance) CHECK (Check = I've done everything I can to maximize this department)
* Verbals - Choice of words, Pace, Making Statements and giving value, Authoritative
* Lifestyle - Continuous Events that portray me as a person (Other than chasing girls and you have a sense of direction in life)

The actual process

Opening/Connecting/Seducing (How much is she feeling me?)
Logistics - Her situation/Friends/My Situation

Where did I make a mistake?
Could I have looked better?
Did I make a weird comment?


That's a very mathmatical process and if you can breakdown what you're doing RIGHT and WRONG, it'll give you CLARITY. Depression only comes when you feel powerless to do what you think you should be able to do, but arn't getting the results you want. Hence, clarity gives you direction and your fog of depression is cleared.

Hope this helps!
 

nexus321

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jun 1, 2014
Messages
63
andersen09 said:
nexus321 said:
I've read the Game and countless other pua books and practiced both nightgame and daygame for years. I've gotten numbers in the past but women have never answered when I called or texted.
Sometimes I would meet women I felt I really hit it off with and they ask for my number and ask me to call them. But when I did no response. This has happened hundreds of times. I've been really depressed about it. I started this journey when I was 17 (2007) and I'm 27 now and I don't have anything to show for it. In all this time I've been on a total of 5 dates and tried to kiss 3 girls, all of whom rejected me. I'm terrified to make a move now. I can start a conversation easily but I never know what to say or do to escalate the situation, I always feel like I'm molesting the other person or something and coming off as a creep if I touch her.


I'm really depressed because I've never had sex and a girlfriend. I'm scared, I feel like it may never happen for me. What should I do?
Is it too late for me? Please respond guys.

Hey man!

You're still 27 and got time and can see why you might be depressed.

Dealing with depression (Breaking it down)
To give you a sense of reality, when you feel depressed, it's best to see everything in technicality, not labeling a situation.

1. You say you've been practicing since 2007, but what does that mean?
A. How many approaches a day?
B. How many hours?
C. Has it been everyday? few times a week? Here and there every month?

This can be compared to sports, as in say Kobe.

A. Kobe practiced EVERY DAY for 8 hours with a goal of making 500 shots. And challenged every teammate to 1 on 1.

So when you say 10 years, break it down. And I can say with 90% assurance, it's not everyday.

What I'm pointing out is that your depression starts when you start generalizing time and idealizing where you should be. 'Ive done this for 10 years so I should be killing it women!" (But is it really 10 years? Or is it every other day you practiced?"

B. Have you broken down steps to see what you'll work on?

For example, imagine you decide to get good at basketball, and said I'm just going to keep playing til I get good, it won't work.
You have (dribbling, passing, courtship awareness, defense, crossovers, layups, floaters, 3 pointers, catch shoot, etc)

So with seduction you need to break it down. It might look like this
* (Body language, tonality, expression, skincare, apperance) CHECK (Check = I've done everything I can to maximize this department)
* Verbals - Choice of words, Pace, Making Statements and giving value, Authoritative
* Lifestyle - Continuous Events that portray me as a person (Other than chasing girls and you have a sense of direction in life)

The actual process

Opening/Connecting/Seducing (How much is she feeling me?)
Logistics - Her situation/Friends/My Situation

Where did I make a mistake?
Could I have looked better?
Did I make a weird comment?


That's a very mathmatical process and if you can breakdown what you're doing RIGHT and WRONG, it'll give you CLARITY. Depression only comes when you feel powerless to do what you think you should be able to do, but arn't getting the results you want. Hence, clarity gives you direction and your fog of depression is cleared.

Hope this helps!

That was incredibly well written man. I never taught to approach the problem so methodically and scientifically. In all these years I've approached over 700 women, I stopped counting because the lack of results depressed me. I've even hired 2 dating coaches but that didn't help, just lost money.
But the problem is I don't know I just feel like what if I'm no ones type? What if looks or personality-wise I'm undateable or unlikeable?
I have a lot of self limiting beliefs and they only get reinforced when I get rejected. I've worked on my fashion and I've tried to become more social. I workout, I draw and I've learned how to cook. I also lost 27 pounds. But what do I say? What do I say to get women interested? I feel like I'm saying the wrong thing.
 

nexus321

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jun 1, 2014
Messages
63
Slay said:
You posted here once before and got like 20+ replies and advice from knowledgeable guys.

What did you do with that advice? Did it fall on deaf ears? Do you even want to improve?

I used to post here often but after getting comments like yours man I stopped. Felt like I was being put down. I've been trying but it's not working for me man. I've taken all of the advice into account but it didn't help. I still haven't had any success in the dating realm.
 

andersen09

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
May 12, 2016
Messages
231
That was incredibly well written man. I never taught to approach the problem so methodically and scientifically. In all these years I've approached over 700 women, I stopped counting because the lack of results depressed me. I've even hired 2 dating coaches but that didn't help, just lost money.
But the problem is I don't know I just feel like what if I'm no ones type? What if looks or personality-wise I'm undateable or unlikeable?
I have a lot of self limiting beliefs and they only get reinforced when I get rejected. I've worked on my fashion and I've tried to become more social. I workout, I draw and I've learned how to cook. I also lost 27 pounds. But what do I say? What do I say to get women interested? I feel like I'm saying the wrong thing.

First, your thoughts arn't really real. You only give it power if you start pondering on em instead of just letting it go.
(I recommend meditation like Vipassana 10-day retreat, it'll be helpful for you to clear your mind and depression)

Your rationalization comes from your depression, not the other way around. Whatever thoughts you have such as "What if I'm no-one's type? What if looks or personality wise I'm undateable or unlikeable?" It's irrational thoughts caused by emotions of depression and goes in a cycle.

Depression -> Im a loser -> Rejection -> See? -> More depression -> More loser

Your rejections are caused by your limiting beliefs. And your limiting beliefs show up in your body language.
Due to how you present yourself, you get rejected. So let me go further,

Second, let's address your thoughts.
I just feel like what if I'm no ones type? What if looks or personality-wise I'm undateable or unlikeable?

Is there a type that's NOONES type? Yes. Noone,s type is a set of behaviors that shows you have low-confidence, no beliefs, no ambitions.
So yes there IS a personality that NOONE likes because it CONVEYS unattractive attributes. BUT it's not only you. Millions of men have characters/behaviors/thoughts that are thought to be undesirable.

But let me also ask you this, do you think Brad Pitt became a "likeable actor" when he started? What about Jordan? Was he "likeable when he started playing basketball?" Nope. EVERYONE goes through a phase where they arn't liked. But as you get better, you become more and more 'likeable' and 'dateable'.

The thing you're MISSING is that you're taking things personally. You have to see dating as a SKILL, not a personal attack to your character and SEPARATE the two. Your CHARACTER supports you in achieving greater skills (hard work ethic, etc), but it's not really YOU but more of what you're presenting as a human being.

HENCE, you WILL be noone's type if you stay there with your limiting behaviors and complaining because no woman wants to be with a man who feels like they're powerless. (Women are the 'powerless' ones, yet here they are competing with men)

And what's the process of taking control? What I described in my first post.

Instead of trying to complain and say you weren't taught, read that and try to put in effort to fixing it. Everyone has a time when they feel down just like you, even all the greats like Jordan, Kobe, Muhammad Ali. But they are the inspirations for what a human being can achieve when they face the dark times you go through. So have faith in the process of improvement, with additions of technicality and specific results.
 

Seppuku

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 25, 2014
Messages
1,149
Location
Middle East, Asia, Africa
Hey,

Mindset is key. One of the problems you are facing is coming from the fact that you're still a virgin. That would understandably make you anxious about taking things to the next step with a woman. Your anxiety about this has to reflect somehow in your vibe and perceived by the woman. Anti sexy, which plays against you.

I am in general not in favor to pay a woman for sex, but for your particular case, that would probably be helpful. Hire a good looking professional, be upfront about your virginity, and let her help you. No one needs to know! Then make sure you fuck her a few more times afterwards (and condoms on). Suddenly your virginity wouldn't be a big deal anymore. My five dollars take on it, this is one of the few good reasons to go for a professional. Just don't get hooked.

I'm ready to bet that things would become easier for you after that.

Seppuku
 

Bboy100

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jan 2, 2015
Messages
1,107
Location
The Milky Way Galaxy
Not to be rude, but are you autistic or on the spectrum in any way? Do you face any other serious disabilities in regards to your ability to socialize? Feel free to PM me if you don't want to write about it publically. Just seems like an awful lot of time and experience for no results. If you really have been in the game for 10 years and have had basically no results, I would suspect there's something more serious than just lack of social skills going on.

The only other thing I might suggest is to check your fundamentals. If you look like a 300 lb bald, pale, smelly fatman, then yes...getting girls attracted to you will be difficult. Although even then...if you're an otherwise somewhat normal dude, you'd still have at least a little more to show for your efforts based on numbers alone.
 

ResentMasculinity

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 10, 2017
Messages
63
could be wrong but i'm guessing it's a generation thing or for a couple of decades now, for a while, losing your virginity in your teen years was the norm for many guys but it seems to be common for guys to be entering their 20's and 30's as virgins today
 
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