Want to get hot girls but can't fix social status. Genuinely want help.

Guess this is my last chance, thought I was banned, but wanted to really get this thread out there and hope that others kinda see my situation and give advice accordingly.

So growing up, I was never really a part of what they called the "in crowd". I was always the odd kid out and it continued over on to college too. After college, things became a little bit easier for me because the dating app revolution was really kicking off so I got some cute girls (6s and the occasional 7) along the way.
Looking back at it though, the cute girls I did get were not the ones I really wanted or in scenes I wanted to be a part of. I am talking girls who were part of fringe crowds like the vegan hipster alt-indy types.

I took some time to reflect.

Looking way back at it to my high school and college days then I noticed that a lot of the really hot girls ran in crowds and cliques. They had their cliques of other hot girls and guys who were a part of them.

After college, I noticed the same thing, at least with hot girls I wanted. Chase kinda touched on this in his blonde bombshells article but I am not just talking about them, I am talking all hot girls with status.

Therein lies my issue that I want genuine help fixing.

I am in my 20s and they are almost about to be over.

A lot of these hot girls had a ton of friends growing up and a lot of them from their college days, they have social status. The guys who get them were probably the popular social status having naturals too. They are all a part of their own crowd that I have a tough time breaking into.

On the other hand, for guys who found their stride in life later on like me, here is the status struggle....

We didn't have quality friends growing up, a lot of our friends we might have had to be honest sucked.

We don't have a crowd of our own to fall back on but on the flip side, it seems so tough to make find and make friends with that sort of a quality crowd.

I have tried Co-Ed sports and volunteer programs and time and time again, I run into the same characters that don't really bring that value to my life. Guys who are way older but trying to fit in with younger people, guys who lack social skills, and married couples.

Even "happy hours" bring lame corporate work people that aren't much fun or looking for friends.

So therein is my problem, these hot girls run with a crowd I am having a borderline impossible time breaking into and I am having a tough time finding a quality social crowd of my own that I can boast about.

I have always had a problem with this and I feel like I have to get it fixed but I don't even know how.

The worst thing is like I feel that I can be more handsome than the guys in these crowds but they still get the hot girls because they are a part of that crowd.

Hey Peach,

I am genuinely happy that you didn't get the complete boot, and you genuinely want to improve yourself. Seriously, I have been both an opponent of you in the past but at the same time i knew that you geniunely really felt the way you felt for reason. And Ive been there. In fact I still let my mind go there to this day occasionally.

Here is the truth of the things. You really want an easy fix. You want someone on this forum to say, "yo bro just do this!". And you go and do it and... poof!.. your the man you always wanted to be. But that solution doesn't exist....

The real solution to your problem comes from putting in an insane amount of energy into your social for the next 1-4 years to have the social life that you dream about now. And when I say insane.. I mean that you will NEED this forum to talk about your adventures. Your obsession with this should reach the point that if you tell anyone else how much energy you are investing in your social life, and in women, they will think you are a fool, and that you are crazy, that you are a sociopath etc etc....

The reason I say you need to put this much work into this is because you clearly are in your late 20s and you haven't gotten results to make you happy yet. At this point you are way behind. Social skills are something that buildup over time and you are lacking. You will need intensive work to get caught up.

If you decide to do this. Which, you don't have to ,and I would get it if you don't. Most of my friends don't. And for good reason.. society hate it... You will still probably find a half decent cute girl at some point and settle down with her. probably. idk. maybe not,,, who knows how the cookie will crumble. But if you don't put in the work, you can guarantee that your end result will be really out of your control.

Putting in the 1-4 years of literally ego crushing and sometimes, what you will think is soul destroying work, will put YOU in control of your destiny with women. You will be able to hook up with and date girls beyond what you thought was possible before.

Now, you may be more naturally talented and better looking than the average guy here. GREAT! that will shave off time that it takes to put you in control. But assuming your the most average male. You're looking at one to four years of going out consistently, picking up girls, fucking girls you may not like so much at first, getting better and better, then eventually, having total control and understanding of what it takes to pick up and date beautiful high quality women.

On to another point. You do not need to be high status yourself, or in the high status group, to fuck high status women. Does it help??? Maybe so and maybe not depending on how good you are and how much you understand social dynamics.

Before you embark on this journey, you need to realize that this is NOT the journey to becoming to the highest social status male. Fucking and dating the best women does NOT mean you will be the most popular guy or coolest guy. But you will learn to socialize and make friends with these guys, and you will be in their circle. However, you will have more freedom to fuck up which they don't have because you will learn to be able to jump circles.

Idk I am rambling.

Here's what you need to do if you are REALLY serious about this.

1) Fuck your ego and throw it out the door. You are not your looks, and your looks and style have only a small bit to do with your game. Im going to assume you don't have good game.

2) You are not as good as guys who are getting better results than you PERIOD. Results are EVERYTHING. If another guy is getting consistently better results than you, than he is BETTER than you as a package. Once again, fuck your looks and your style or whatever other superficial thing you think you have going for you, those things DONT MATTER or they matter so much less than your complete game that you need to assume they matter none at all.

3) Be on these boards early and often. and seriously post field reports. You don't have to post lay reports if you feel that its immoral or unethical. But you need to be giving DETAILED analysis of when you go out to meet girls. You need to figure out what you are doing wrong and you need to fix those things and you need other minds of all skill levels to weigh in. This is so important.

4) post more on the boards with real issues that you have in the field. This is just to emphasize that you need community here to help you and if you go to people outside this ( or any other pick up community, which if another one helps you more thats fine ) You will be criticized. Normal people don't 'get' people who study dating like we do here. But trust me, we are only teaching here how to fit in more with the 'in' crowd. Not less. It may take a bit of full circle before you make it to the 'in' crowd... aka there may be a while, when you are improving yourself, that you fit in less, but eventually you will fit in much more than you currently do. Or you will start getting such better results than you'd thought you'd get with the in crowd that you give up your illusion of the in crowd in the first place, which is what happens for most of us.

5) Take responsibility for yourself completely and take it seriously. Stop blaming other people for your lack of results. Take it on yourself to fix it. It won't be easy, but it is possible. I know. Ive bedded many woman, I've been on dates with hundreds, I've gotten many more phone numbers, and I've chatted up thousands of woman. Through this, I've encountered more rejection than any man I personally know. Seriously. I've proudly struck out more than ANYONE I know. But, I've gotten more ass than almost (ok I know a few guys who've done a lot better than woman than I have) any man I know. And Ive certainly done so much more with women than I thought possible 5-6 years ago when I really started gaming for real.

6) Embrace rejection. You clearly cannot embrace rejection until you have let go of your ego. You have not. You still feel that you need high status friends to get high status chicks. This is a lie. In fact, you can get more girls, and high status girls going out alone than you can with even mildly good wing men. (alternatively, wing men who are both better and into pickup can really help) but most are few and far between. In general. If you are serious you are better off alone. This may mean quite a bit of rejection before you start getting wins. So much so that most men give up before they have a chance to get good. There is a big chance that in your first year you will swear off pick up as fake and phony and just bank of hoping a cute girl will fall for you eventually. Which as I said before may or may not happen.

Anyway, I'm rambling even more now. I get excited when I see men make a change in their mental and seriously start looking inside at what they can change to become who they want to become and get what they want to get. It may not always work out exactly how you see it working out now, and it certainly won't be a walk in the park. But I hope you aren't bull shitting here. I hope you start posting FRs and LRs and really invest in yourself peach. You are still young, and you still have plenty of time to get the hottest of the hot and be the best of the best. You just got to put your mind to it, and not let any haters get in your way. Its time to get personal for real.

Cheers buddy. Hope we see more from you. And I really hope we see substantial FRs and LRs and real stories about how you attempted something and succeeded or failed and we can all analyze why for both your benefit and our benefit.

radeng

Peach,

Listen to Radeng.

With regards to social status Radeng hits on a good point that its not actually needed to be part of an "in crowd" to get a high status girl. If you have high status body language, eye contact, social mannerisms, and fashion and you're by yourself the girl will assume your high status. You don't need the social circle to access those girls, you just have to approach them right, and to learn to do that is going to take 1-4 years of hustle as Radeng wisely points out.

-Rob

I have been doing a lot of approaches over the years, that is how I got the 6s and 7s but I have come to the point where it isn't about just the sex and lay count for me. I want the whole overall package.

I want to be in that crew of hot girls and cool guys at a club rather than the lone PUA, how do I get to there is my question.

Only commenting here because I had to edit, please see post below where I address RaDeng's impressive post.

Editting after much thought:

RaDeng,

I read your post top to bottom and spent time thinking about it but here is the truth, it isn't that I am lazy and haven't spent the time doing all that, it is because I have spent the time doing all that approaching like they talk about on here and RSD, had some success, but after seeing what I have seen that I have come to the conclusion which is:

Man I don't get it, and I need help getting it!

That is when I started thinking about this social status stuff as I looked back to high school and college. I saw guys who, and I have to be honest, were lesser than a lot of guys getting hot girls. I am talking Wayne Rooney lookalikes getting hot girls while guys who looked like John Stamos were struggling to get those same hot girls.

Now I go out and I am still baffled man, I am.

I go out and see this sexy 10 only to find that she is with some crew and there is a guy with her. How the fuck did he get her?

Then I see some guy with a group of hot girls out at a bar. How the fuck did he meet these girls?

I find a hot girl spending time on Instagram that has over thousands of followers and she is with a guy that, honestly, she can do way better than that. How the fuck did he get THAT?

That kind of shit baffles me.

I am lost man, I really am.

I don't see these guys approaching randoms and doing PUA-style game.

The guy who has a lot of friends, a lot of social value, and gets the hot girl(s).

How does he do it and how can I be that guy?

So RaDeng, my question is, where do I start?

I don't mean random approaches like I have been doing for the past 5 years because I feel like those have a ceiling. I mean where do I start to build a quality social life.

PeachFrustration said:

I go out and see this sexy 10 only to find that she is with some crew and there is a guy with her. How the fuck did he get her?

Then I see some guy with a group of hot girls out at a bar. How the fuck did he meet these girls?

I find a hot girl spending time on Instagram that has over thousands of followers and she is with a guy that, honestly, she can do way better than that. How the fuck did he get THAT?

That kind of shit baffles me.

I am lost man, I really am.

I don't see these guys approaching randoms and doing PUA-style game.

The guy who has a lot of friends, a lot of social value, and gets the hot girl(s).

How does he do it and how can I be that guy?

So RaDeng, my question is, where do I start?

I don't mean random approaches like I have been doing for the past 5 years because I feel like those have a ceiling. I mean where do I start to build a quality social life.

Click to expand...

Why bother competing with those type of guys?

Why not try to get girls without that method?

If you think about it, if you just crowd yourself with hot men and women to get other hot girls, it makes you using them.

Why not try getting women by standing by yourself, rather than standing with a group of people.

If women see you always with a group, then it makes you seem like you depend on them, like for social status and such.

If you the dominant, alpha pack, you don't need a group.

Be independent.

Peach,

I'll fourth radeng, Mr.Rob, and Neal in saying you don't need to be part of an "in" crowd to get hot women.

I think maybe you have a mental block, where your belief that you strictly need certain actual social status for hot women makes you either (i) not even approach the hottest women, or (ii) screw up on those approaches due to observer-expectancy effect (you think you're going to fail and that vibe rubs off on her so you actually do).

Let me tell you a personal story of an approach I did a few years ago. I was at a concert with a big headliner artist, and approached a pair of models who had just come off the stage for a 10 minute break from dancing in front of 5000 people wearing next to nothing. These girls had people coming up asking to get pictures with them, literally two minutes before I approached.

The one I liked more gave me her number very readily and I later got her on a date.

The only reason I didn't wind up sleeping with her was inexperience and my mental model not being quite strong enough. After we had connected well, I hinted to her that I wanted to go home with her. She gave me what I would later realize was a green light, but at the time I didn't pick up on it - partly because I just didn't believe it could be so simple!

She wouldn't have been your type (I know you're not into black girls), but suffice it to say, they don't put ugly women on a stage with big headliner artists. This girl's pictures were in advertising for Caribbean events, where they only put the hot girls!

Was I in her "in" clique? No. I didn't know any of her friends from Jack. Did I have my own "cool crowd" I was rolling with when we met? No. I was flying solo. Granted, I had access to an area the general public didn't, but that came from just a bit of social investment that wasn't genuinely hard to do and was mostly just a side effect of taking interest in the culture.

Another thing is, while you mention doing lots of approaches, it also sounds like you might be limiting yourself to bars and clubs. This is perhaps one of the least effective ways of getting at the hottest women if you're not, as you lament, in "those" groups. That model would probably not have given me the time of day had I met her in some noisy club surrounded by her clique and tons of guys hotter than me.

Also,

PeachFrustration said:

I don't see these guys approaching randoms and doing PUA-style game.

Click to expand...

You're looking at these guys from outside. You don't really know what kind of experience they have. I'd be willing to bet that, unless they're super-super hot, they've got a lot more social and sexual experience with women than you might realize, or at the very least, extremely good "natural" social intuition.

Phoenix

I am a relative social pariah, so I can relate to this quite well.

I have never been a part of the "in crowd" either.

Never followed fashion, never got on facebook back when it was "cool" and for younger ppl.

I felt like I was setting the trends, but in reality I was just isolating myself unintentionally.

There was a girl like this at the youth club I went to from 2005-8 and she was so popular.

I was really attracted to her but I just felt like we were at such different levels socially, that there was no way she would be interested.

I might make a thread about it actually...

PeachFrustration said:

The guy who has a lot of friends, a lot of social value, and gets the hot girl(s).

How does he do it and how can I be that guy?

So RaDeng, my question is, where do I start?

Click to expand...

Hello Peach,

I will just address this because others are on that "no need for status" talk.

This is one of the things I asked Chase about a year or two ago and basically, he suggested to befriend a girl like that first. You make friends by offering value. Owen from RSD talked about this how he went out and want wanted to find a mentor or business partner. He basically invited the guy to have out with him and his buddies and at the end just casually said "we are having a party next weekend, you should come, man, it will be fun". This is networking.

So if you want to be that guy, you first need to know what she values and then offering it to her. If you want to have a bug social circle full of hot girls, you can do that as well but I think it will take more time then being good at cold approach. We had a succesful business man in university for a presentation and he just sad "to achieve some things, you need connections. I have been building this company for a year, but the connections with the people who helped me make this happen, it took 20 years".

So if you are an outsider and cannot offer what these people you want to befriend value, then sorry but it will not work. Now, catching you by words but you yourself said "how can I break in these crowds" - you should not break in, you should just connect with them and integrate your network / friends / activites / values with them. Or maybe you pick up a girl like that, she will be so smithen with you that she will introduce you to hwr friends and even if you break up on a good terms, you could still hang out with her group. But you need to make the life of the group better in some way. We have a guy at work who seems like he experirnced everything - he visited all the cool places, all thr countries, by himself, with friends, with big groups, with tour guides, without tour guides, he knows how the system works, knows all the cool bars, restaurants, dance clubs, theatres, have been to almost every concert there is. He is like 27 but has life experiences of a 40 year old. So you can imagine that whenever we go out after work, he just chats up a waitress, she mentions some random stuff about Bangladesh and he is like "yea thats from Sundabans, right. We were there 2 years ago" and she is like "Yes! It was so cool, have you visited Dakasomething temple?" And he is like "yea, but they did not want to let us in because we were drunk, but we went next day" and stuff like that. Whatever someone says, he can relate to in somehow. And you get this by simply living your live, gathering life experiences. He can connect with anyone. And because he is a party boy, he just likes to have fun so he knows how to create fun. Do you know what he looks like? He is a full head shorter than me (I am 186 cm / 6 ft 1), he is loosing hair but has somewhat 7/10 face and really magnetic smile and attitude. So maybe you dont understand how a 10 could be with a guy like you described but that is because you might not see what these women value. Because lots of times, what I saw was that they dont give a shit about your looks, income, your perfect teeth and career and super smooth gestures. But your attitude, character and what you can offer, how you can better her life - like if you are well connected you can protect her even if you are not the most buff dude there is, because if the Rock tried to attack her, she believes you would befriend him and prevent him hurting her.

I rambling, but hopefully you get my point. It is not "be a party boy" but offer the things the people you want around trully value. The girls usually can be just super hot and attractive and that is enough for them to be wanted as friends, lovers, girlfriends or be included in groups. We guys need to bring the right energy and be fun to be around and create the fun if there is none - because it creates positive emotions in girls and that is what will get them in your bed.

So, as I said, I am have similar problem like you (this, be part of groups that have hot women) but I started to just make my pack at work, with cool guys from there, organizing some after work events. And if an uncool, introverted, weird dude like me can befriend cool guys like them, then I am sure you can do it too. Find out what they want, then give it to them

Edit:
And and one thing I noticed I do when interacting with people is that I use their "catch words". Not blutantly and all the time but sparingly and seemlessly. Like the party dude from work I spoke of, he likes to say the word "mega". Like "have you seen Black Panther? Mega cool" or you say "we wanted to go work out during lunch break, would you join?" And he just says "mega". And I think that by saying this you will seem similar to those people. But you cant do it in the same frequency as they do, otherwise you come across like a fan boy or a follower.

Great bit of wisdom on this thread in recent posts guys, I can see this discussion helping out a lot of us.

For Neal and Phoenix, while I agree that you guys are right, I still see a great bit of benefit in social value and actually building status.

For Michal, great insights man and I just have to comment on a couple of things.

One is work friends and coworkers, I feel like it is so tough to make friends with a lot of coworkers due to the fact that tons of work environments are competitive. Now therein lies one other root of my struggle as I try to find a quality social circle to bring into my life.

You see, in college and even in high school it was as clear as day. You kinda knew who the cool kids were and who the lower value people were. The cool guys were often on sports teams and there was a relatively straightforward path to being a part of a higher status crowd. You either played sports or joined a fraternity which threw parties, that usually got you girls.

Now this is where my biggest obstacle comes in for the real world, I can't as easily find those higher status crowds as much. It isn't so straightforward and I am having a tough time finding out who all of the hot girls are congregating to outside of celebrities themselves.

As I can more easily identify this and find that, I feel that I can start to work more towards becoming a part of those crowds.

It is more important for me to have a social crowd and date or hookup with a few hot girls rather than just get laid a lot.

Hey Peach,

I am glad you found some value in what I posted. I want to clarify quickly here that I don't think you are wrong per se, and there is a lot of value in having a great social circle if thats what you are after. However, a lot of times, it becomes natural for you to join these social circles the better you get at game. My personal experience has been along these lines of all my initial success with women was purely social circle/ status driven because in college I literally threw parties all the time. I never went on dates and I was never direct with my intentions to sleep with women back then. I just threw big parties, had TONS of friends, and made attraction happen by being the most high status guy at my parties. I would get women numbers all the time just to invite them to my parties.

Now, I had 0 game with these women and would be nervous as fuck with them one on one unless I had enough alcohol, which many times left me impotent when I finally got them. Never the less, my social circle building was effective and I did lay some mediocre and hot chicks. Fast forward, after college and an LTR, I didn't know how to throw good parties in a non-college setting, so I started cold approaching.

I spent a long time landing mostly 6s and 7s through cold approach and felt a lot like you. Eventually I started getting high quality girls through cold approach as I made it a part of my life style. It took me a few years. I still bang 6s and 7s to this day with no shame. But I learned how to lead a 8-9 (I never call a girl a 10 unless she has celebrity status) through the process when the opportunities presented themselves. I landed a dream girl for my self and I just got out of that relationship, so I am in a bit of rebuilding phase at the moment, regaining previous skills.

Anyway, I am still working on myself and theres a lot I can still improve in my game, but I have found so much abundance in a mix of online and cold approach that I always have a dream girl type girl I am working on, while I am working on 6s and 7s as well. My goal isn't a high notch count, but an ever increasing notch count is just a consequence of getting better with women in general.

If you feel that social circle is better than cold approach at getting you better high quality women, I won't argue that. Its not a bad approach in my opinion and having an in crowd is a lot of fun. I get more addicted to the thrill of cold approach and I think social circle game would maybe net me a higher quality ratio over all, but Id probably spend too much time walking in between lays/girlfriends to really stick with it. Plus I've already dedicated so much time to being good at cold approach that is just my way.

Still the fundamentals of both are similar if you want the hottest girls. You need to still be able to cold approach regularly to be successful socialite. Your end goal with the women and men you cold approach will just be different.

I would say don't focus on "breaking into" social groups. Focus on figuring out what the social groups you see have in common, and focus on fitting the mold and offering social value. I regularly meet social groups now who I become friends with who invite me out. Sometimes I get leads with their women, other times I don't. Mostly I don't focus on it, because Id rather use these social groups to make my cold approach better and show lots of social proof to random women when I am out, rather than try to get with girls in the social group.

Its also worth noting that these guys in these social groups, many time, with the hot girls, were brought into the social group by the hot girl

That is to say, they met the girl online/cold approach/class/whatever other method, and then were made part of the social group by the girl. The two weren't just always part of this social group together and hooked up, although that does sometimes happen, its more rare from what I have personally seen.

However, almost all of my advice STILL applies to getting good at social circle game. You need to be out creating social value often. You will fail a lot, and it may take you years to get good at it. You will still need to do a lot of cold approaching, but instead of inviting girls on dates or try to take them home. You need to focus on making a party everywhere you go. Be smart, and use your brain to formulate this stuff. Don't just depend on answers here.

Get both girls and guys numbers. Tip bouncers and make friends with them at EVERY bar you go to so you can skip lines. Make friends with bar tenders at every bar so you can chat them up when you get there and get drink specials for your social circle.

If you want the nightlife social circle, think like a promoter. You can't afford to try to fuck every chick like a cold approacher does. You have to focus on adding chicks to your social circle and making one person trust another person and connect them up. You have to hook the coolest guys up with the hottest girls, so that those guys bring their hot friends that are girls to your circle.

This is all important stuff. I haven't focused on it in my life, but I've done enough of it to analyze and tell you what you need to do in a big picture level. I prefer cold approach and many times, a lot of cold approach will naturally build a social circle of its own just because you'll be out a lot.

Also some people mentioned day game. This is crucial to landing the hottest women for cold approachers as many times they are 10x tougher to land in a night time setting when they are being drooled all over by 219109535 guys in the clubs.

Anyway, theres a lot of over lap between the two methods and all my advice applies.

Try a lot for a long time, and post on here about your journey.

Also, you need to ask yourself if this is what you really want?? Of course every guy wants a hot girl on his arm and cool friends.

Are YOU willing to go through all the bullshit to get that?? The pain, the emotional struggle, the goal setting, the hours working on it, the long nights out, the lack of sleep, the bullshit of listening the problems of your social circle??

Starting and managing a big social circle is a loveless thankless job. It will have its rewarding moments. But you will be dealing with bullshit and disapointment 24/7 that no one else will see. Just like good pick up guys do. All my friends think I am amazing with chicks because I can get most girls number at will in most venues with all my friends watching. Thats all they see. But they didn't see the years of trial and error and rejection and beating my head against the wall to realize that a number is no big fucking deal anyway and at the end of the day a number doesn't even mean much to the whole seduction process.

You are viewing social circle game through rose colored glasses, when you really have no idea what it takes to get to where you want to be. And also how empty and exhausting job it is to be the matchmaker/party thrower/get in the door/cool guy who 90% of friends only love him for what he's doing for them, not for who he actually is.

Yea its nice to have all that validation. But is that what you REALLY want?? Because I think if you really wanted it, you would already be putting in the work to get it.

Life is not defined by what we want. If it was wed ALL be millionaires and have the hottest wives who loved FFM threesomes and never got older.

Life is defined by the bullshit we are willing to through to get a certain something. I can say I wan't to be rich, but I until I start my biz, and put in 100 hours weeks with months on end of uncertainty, no businessman is going to feel sorry for me that I am not rich. Just like all of here are not going to feel sorry for you that you haven't got what you wanted socially because you haven't found the right advice online or in a forum.

Peach, this is on you. I think social circle is a fine path. But you have to start taking MASSIVE ACTION, and most likely massive failure, or else you'll never have anything worth mentioning. Are you willing to do what it takes. I hope so. And really, I hope you avoid failure and bad emotions and all that and that things just work for you. I really do. But thats hardly ever the case. Don't expect the world to give you anything worth having easy. Expect to work hard through blood sweat and tears for the things that are worth having mate.

Once again. A great start is to start posting FR and mention your focus on social circle. Get out in your community and go do the things hot girls do. Do yoga and kickball and start book clubs or whatever else mate. Be creative. Start going through the bullshit. Make your questions on here SPECIFIC instead of general. You will find help and answers here.

Remember, the things you see on the outside of a social circle is an illusion. Just like IG and FB for most people. Behind every IG model is a girl who spends 4 hours a day taking hundreds of pics to look JUST right for the camera. Many girls will look and say, Oh she's just so pretty I could never be her. But they are unwilling to do what she does for attention. Don't be the hater girl here, be the IG model.

Anyway, hope to see more of you around.

cheers,
radeng

@radeng

I just bookmarked this post after reading through your answer to peach- it has so much gold in it I can't focus on one specific thing. When you're learning this stuff, whether it's cold approach or social circle or what have you, its so easy to forget how normal all the failure you pile up is. And even once you've reached a point where all your friends are in awe of you, you know better in ways they could never understand because you know that one chick you just number pulled may not even get back to you because of x thing you messed up, and know you messed up with.

It is all about going through all the bullshit and doing whatever it takes, that be posting FRs and journaling or going out when you don't want to or not taking this girl as an exclusive girlfriend because you know that will get in the way of your progress and you aren't ready... but I think you and I both know in the end it will all be more than worth it. I relish the thought of all the men out there who aren't taking the time to learn these skills being miserable in their plights down the road, being trapped in less than ideal relationships with women who don't truly respect them.

Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts with the forum- I'm sure the other guys reading this thread will get out as much as I have from it.

Ambiance

Been wanting to get back on this thread!

My personal experience has been along these lines of all my initial success with women was purely social circle/ status driven because in college I literally threw parties all the time. I never went on dates and I was never direct with my intentions to sleep with women back then. I just threw big parties, had TONS of friends, and made attraction happen by being the most high status guy at my parties. I would get women numbers all the time just to invite them to my parties.

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That is what I want! How did you do it and how hard was it? Can I replicate that in life after college?

As for how bad I want it.

I work full time and I want to be filthy rich, does this mean I have to sacrifice that in order to get what I want?

I looked at what you proposed and read your post, it has not worked out. Most of the times the groups and activities with hot girls in it, all the hot girls are taken or not interested enough to be a part of the group and the social groups available are usually low quality.

I've been wondering how the fuckers and losers I see at bars out with these large groups of hot girls manage to do it.

Also, can I tie the two together?

I hear of rich dudes struggling but how do guys like Dan Bilzerian and others manage to use their wealth to get hot girls and a social group going?

PeachFrustration said:

Been wanting to get back on this thread!

My personal experience has been along these lines of all my initial success with women was purely social circle/ status driven because in college I literally threw parties all the time. I never went on dates and I was never direct with my intentions to sleep with women back then. I just threw big parties, had TONS of friends, and made attraction happen by being the most high status guy at my parties. I would get women numbers all the time just to invite them to my parties.

Click to expand...

That is what I want! How did you do it and how hard was it? Can I replicate that in life after college?

As for how bad I want it.

I work full time and I want to be filthy rich, does this mean I have to sacrifice that in order to get what I want?

I looked at what you proposed and read your post, it has not worked out. Most of the times the groups and activities with hot girls in it, all the hot girls are taken or not interested enough to be a part of the group and the social groups available are usually low quality.

I've been wondering how the fuckers and losers I see at bars out with these large groups of hot girls manage to do it.

Also, can I tie the two together?

I hear of rich dudes struggling but how do guys like Dan Bilzerian and others manage to use their wealth to get hot girls and a social group going?

Click to expand...

Peach,

I would say getting filthy rich requires having your own business or be in a profession that deals with money. A friend of mine is a financial consultant for banks, he used to be employed in one of those before he went freelance, but makes like 80k dollars a month.

The second thing - I will use this as an example again - he is kind of a goofball so yes, while he has money, in social situations he is "kinda there", not much charisma but big ego, he has that freedom about himself because he could stop working tomorrow and still be secured for the rest of his life. He is just not that fun to be around. And to throw big parties you need social circle. To have good social circle, you need to provide value, either with your knowledge, perspective but I would say if you are the leader in couple of the social circles you are part of, it cannot be that hard to just assemble all these and throw one big party. People respect the leaders of their groups so if you just add some cool and humour to your behaviour while organize some outings like bike trips, concerts, going skiing and improve your networking skills, people will want to be friends with you. That is similar to being a small scale celebrity basically. If your motto would be like Nokia's - connecting people - you could offer something not that easily accessible - connections. A friend of mine is in a pickle with law, you have a lawyer friend. For that, you introduce him to a girl you think would be a great match for him. There are numerous ways to achieving what you want but it depends on why you want it and what is the end goal - if you want to being people together you will need to work on your empathy and be genuinly interested in people and their story. If you want to throw the wildiest, epic parties ever, then you will need to work on bringing the energy and generating fun everywhere you go.

Peach,

I’d like to think you were going to take action but it doesn’t look like you have. If you secretly think the guys that you want to be Ike are fuckers and losers then you will never be able to join their social circles. As far as throwing parties goes I couldn’t tell you what does and doesn’t work after college I never did that after college. I suspect it would work ok if you were charming enough. But what won’t work is analyzing from afar and not taking action. As far as being rich goes, I don’t think the two are mutually exclusive but you should decide what to devote your tome to. Most people can’t successfully do both because both are time consuming. So choose.

Frankly, the vibe in all of your posts is needy and fearful and value leeching. You don’t seem like a very good person or a very fun person and you seem to cherry pick advice to fit your narrative. It’s not fun or gratifying to try and help you. I can’t imagine the person you are in real life is all that different.

I’m done answering any more posts of yours until I see some field reports buddy. My main advice was to take action. Seems you’re still sitting on the sidelines complaining. Good luck!

Cheers,
Radeng

Tough choice indeed, on one hand I want to be rich and build my empire but on the other hand, I want to experience that fun social life as well....

PeachFrustration said:

Tough choice indeed, on one hand I want to be rich and build my empire but on the other hand, I want to experience that fun social life as well....

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Go for the money, because if I'm being completely honest, I don't feel like you've put much effort into women. If you get the cash, you may feel compelled to keep that winning streak going and possibly even get the confidence to transfer over into women.