Should I cut off contact with girl I slept with?

slashrfnr

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Aug 11, 2013
Messages
58
Gentlemen

I'm a British guy, and was in the US last week for my cousins wedding to a US girl last saturday. I ended up sleeping with one of the bridesmaids.

My cousins new wife said she is a bit clingy (which I got the feeling of). I was going to get her number at breakfast, but couldn't do it without drawing attention. I did end up getting her number from my cousins wife but only because my when discussing it, the chick had told my cousins wife that I hadn't got her number (although I would have asked for it indirectly anyway).

I messaged her later on the sunday, and have been exchanging whatsapp messages since then. She is visiting the UK for work later in November, so rather than have a long drawn out convo, I shot her a message just before I boarded the plane saying that she should hit me up when she visits London, and I'll show her some cool parts of the city (and I would definitely like to sleep with her again). I thought this would cut the conversation, and she would just get in contact nearer the time. However, it hasn't and she is still messaging me.

I'm not really sure how to play this. I thought she was a cool girl and enjoy chatting with her, and would definitely be up for meeting her when she visits London and I don't want to be rude and ignore her. However, I'm definitely not down for a long distance relationship, and I'm guessing she isn't either. I don't want to lead her on, but I believe that I shouldn't act in a way that a girl feels used or regrets sleeping with me.

Should I continue messaging her until it dies out, and just keep in contact occasionally just so she doesn't think I'm a dick? I've already slept with her, so I'm not too worrried about attraction expiring, but I figure that either staying in constant contact can't do me much good or will lead her on. On the other hand, I don't to stop talking to her, and then her feel used etc.

I get this is pretty complex, but any advice would be appreciated.

Thank you!
 

andersen09

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
May 12, 2016
Messages
231
Mmmm.. this is a tricky situation because you have to think about the consequences of your actions since it's a social circle scenario from what I'm getting.

I'd say you can sleep with her, as long as she's mature enough to handle and not the type to cause drama within the social circle. At best, since it was your cousin's wife who already said she was the clingy type, I would think it would be fine as it's a known character amongst your inner family that she's a bit clingy if things do go south.

I would just be straight up with her in the beginning and be honest about what your intentions are about not wanting long relationship, and if she's cool with it, there you go.

But if she's not, show her around and keep a platonic relationship but don't sleep with her.
 

Richard

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Mar 1, 2013
Messages
1,821
Something I learned from women along the way is "Don't burn your bridges, unless you have to."

In this case, spread out your replies to her but stay relatively warm and upbeat. My guess is she's not looking for a relationship but she is looking for your attention and wants to stay on your radar so that you're willing to meet up with her when she does visit London/UK.

Because you have time zone differences between the UK and London it's natural that you'll be busy when she's free, etc. so you have a lot of leadway to take your time when replying to her. Also keep in mind that her expectation is that she cannot see you soon (over a month) so her attraction likely won't expire because she's prepared for things so - unless she pushes very hard for something else over text, etc. then spreading out your replies and minimizing how much you text her shouldn't be too much a hassle for you until November.

One other thing - if she's sending you multiple text messages in a day (which she might if she's clingy) then pick out one thing that stands out and reply with a text message to that one thing - you don't have to reply to absolutely everything, you just want to let her know that she's still on your radar. Fairly simple and straightforward here.

-Richard
 
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