Is she friend zoning me or setting me up for a relationship?

thecloudsandrain

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Aug 13, 2013
Messages
21
I have an LR on this particular 22 year old woman.

On the first date we got back to her place and had sex. The sex was pretty passionate, but unfortunately I couldn't keep an erection with a condom on, so we had sex without protection. The next day we laid in bed together and cuddled and kissed for a bit, and then I left. I returned the same night to give her a morning after pill. During this meeting we kissed, held hands, and talked while we waited for my bus to come. Right before my bus arrived she invited me to a little get-together with her and her friends. A friend of her had planned to propose to his girlfriend. I agreed to come with her.

At this point, I was thinking perhaps she wanted me to be her boyfriend, as she was holding my hand and hugging my arm quite a bit.

At the get-together things were going great. She was leaning into me, stroking my leg, holding my hand, kissing me. When her friends asked if I was her boyfriend she said I was only her friend. With a little prying from her friends though, it was later discovered by them that I was in fact her lover.

Strangely enough, she had reservation about me coming home with her again because she asked what time my dorm would close and suggested the cab drop my off on the way home. I told her I didn't have any plans to go back and that we could just go to her place for the night. At her place she was laying on the bed saying she just wanted to sleep, but with a little effort we were having sex, and it was even better than the sex we had on the first date.

Two days after we had sex I decided to send her a text to see if she wanted to meet before she moved to a new city. Here's the conversation:

Me: (her name), tell me what your schedule looks like before you go. I'll probably only be able to see you once. I've got tests all next week. We'll make it count.

Her: I am free before I leave. I don't have any plan.

Her: It's ok, we can meet when I get back in December.

(a little while later)

Her: When do you want to meet?

Me: I was thinking tomorrow night. Next week I'll be hitting the books hard.

Her: Night...where (as if she didn't know)

Her: Do you have class tomorrow? My friend stays at mine.

Me: No class tomorrow.

Her: We can go out tomorrow, what do you think?

Me: Let's decide when we meet tomorrow, there's a lot of things we can go out and do.

Her: Ok, when and where should we meet?

Me: Your place 1pm.

Her: My friend lives with me.

Me: I guess we can meet at my dorm or wait until December...seems like you're entertaining guests.

Her: We can hang out. I think we can go to the park or century city (a shopping exhibition or something)

She obviously is down to see me, but I feel she is reluctant to see me in an environment where sex may happen. It's been established between us that we're LOVERS...and lovers don't hang out, right? She's moving to another city 2 hours away and will only be back every other month. Do you think she's trying to move me into boyfriend territory, make me a friend, or am I just worrying for no reason.

- The Clouds and The Rain
 

Drck

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 14, 2013
Messages
1,488
My best guess is that she likes you, she wants to go out with you, but she doesn't like the sex much. It doesn't have to be necessary the physical part. It could be you but it doesn't have to, e.g. She could be ashamed that you didn't get excited enough, which in her language tells her she is not attractive enough. She could be ashamed that she slept with you on the first date, and now she's feeling guilty. She could think that you want to use her for sex only and so on.

She wanted to show her friends that she's got a guy she is close to, but at the same time she doesn't want to sleep with you. You think you are her lover, but she calls you a friend. There is some discrepancy in how you see the relationship, and how she sees it. She probably has no clue what to expect from you, and her own expectations were to get a BF (meaning you are confusing her with how you are acting - remember, more than 99% of people she knows have not even a clue about GC, and they most likely behave totally different than you)

IMO, if you want to keep her I wouldn't push for sex much, give her a break. Go for dates with her and work on vibes, get more close to her emotionally. Talk about what it is that you expect from this relationship, and find out what is she looking for. If you really like her, stop all the "seduction" you learned by reading - She is already seduced, she already slept with you, she already has a picture about you - so you could be just confusing her with your seduction behavior... now you just have to figure our what do you want next, and see if thats what she wants too... GF? Fuck buddy? Another girl? ...??
 
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