Can't get off from blow/handjobs

Jimigod · Aug 24, 2013

Basically, this girl who's been obsessed with me for like almost 2 years invited me over as her parents were out of town for the weekend. However I was an idiot, arrived unprepared, and after a short while of sex she freaked out about the whole pulling out thing, so we finished each other off manually.

Thing is..she was giving me a sort of simultaneous blowjob-handjob (which did feel great) during which I didn't really seem to get near coming. She started saying she was rubbish at it and all that, and I ended up finishing myself off.

What I was wondering is if it's simply a fact that some guys don't get off from this type of sex. Was it bad technique on her behalf? Perhaps she needed to do it for longer? Am I just too used to masturbation and need to adjust to the feeling of a girl doing it for me? It's certainly not due to a problem ejaculating as I can get myself off in ridiculous times if I want to (hey, what can a teenager do?).

Also, she insisted we turn the lights off when getting down to business (I guess she's insecure about her body/technique), so I couldn't really see what was happening. Does the visual aspect of a girl sucking help you get more turned on and eventually come?

Thanks guys, any insights would be appreciated. Overall, a great night though. And hey, I'm no longer a virgin!

topcat · Aug 27, 2013

Haha Jimigod, I'm curious to see the solution to this, as I have the exact same "issue". Blowjobs, handjobs and (to an extent) sex with condoms just don't do it for me, it takes mad concentration for me to finish..especially when girls insist on having the lights turned off...

Richard · Aug 27, 2013

I have no scientific evidence to prove this, like, I'm not citing any sources lol. But I'm fairly confident that the visual stimulation of having the lights on and seeing the action acts as a catalyst to the sexual stimulation causing you to cum faster. Basically, the act of seeing and feeling is worlds better than merely feeling

Mr. oblivious · Apr 29, 2014

Zphix said:
I have no scientific evidence to prove this, like, I'm not citing any sources lol. But I'm fairly confident that the visual stimulation of having the lights on and seeing the action acts as a catalyst to the sexual stimulation causing you to cum faster. Basically, the act of seeing and feeling is worlds better than merely feeling

Fairly sure this is correct

And just commenting on the pulling out technique just letting you know using that method is risky because when you have sex you pre cum and the pre cum has semen in it and can impregnate someone. The chances are much lower than actually finishing inside but if your that unlucky bastard you could be a dad within the next 9 months

H-Two-O · May 5, 2014

I think it is just the change of the stroking style that didnt help you reach orgasm / ejaculation..Solution is simple bro..Do not jerk your self off and hold on your orgasms for few days and just keep doing it again with her..then your brain should be able to adjust to her strokes and reach orgasm. Make sure to make your self very horny. It is an important and very powerfull too to train your self to become horny at will. That is one of the best porn industry secrets.

Just like a martial artists or an olympic weight lifter..mentally phsycin up and forcing the concentration in before the attempt. Got it?!!

robertnyc · Aug 3, 2014

I don't get off from blowjobs either (but I still love them). Best position I have found for getting off is a reverse cowgirl position with my back laying flat on the bed (and not supported by a pillow or anything. Give it a try if missionary position or blow jobs are not doing it.

lux7 · Aug 9, 2014

Never came on a BJ or HJ either and never really cared much for coming on them.

For me, ant it might be the same for you, it's a question of requiring the "full contact", the thrusting power and the "control" that a mouth can hardly give.
Woman on top for example gives you full contact and you can still have thrusting power, but you're less in control of the rhythm, so even though I love it I haven't come often with her on top.

Actually for me, mostly when I've already come once, there's some sort of "coming wall": if I resist coming for a while and "go past it" then very rarely would I come again.
Still it's enjoyable going on though.

Estate · Aug 14, 2014

I'll just back up some of the other comments.

Getting a blowjob is probably my absolute favorite thing but I can rarely actually cum from them. I think younger girls get a bit weirder about it, like they think there's something wrong if you aren't blowing a load within 2 minutes. Most other girls are just fine trying their heart out and it is still just a pre-cursor to some great sex so they are cool with it.

Really I've only met 2/3 girls ever who just had some technique (no idea what they were doing but they were doing SOMETHING different) and could get me off consistently. Most other girls can't but it doesn't stop me just really enjoying the feeling.

To be honest it's not every girl that can actually give a good one. Just like some guys don't know how to find or pleasure the clitoris, a lot of girls might be fully ready, willing and enthusiastic to go down on a guy, they just don't actually know what "buttons" to press. Earlier this year I had a girl telling me over and over how she was going to blow me before we ever got to bed. She was pretty confident in her abilities to say the least but the actual blowjob was kind of "meh". Like some girls literally suck the hell out of it when licking all the right places... this girl just sort of skimmed her lips over the shaft and seemed to think that was good.

If you REALLY aren't feeling much, maybe lay off the porn a bit. If you're enjoying it but just not getting off... I wouldn't be too worries about there being any sort of "problem".

BarryS1 · Aug 14, 2014

The only way I get get off from a bj is by getting my hand in there as well. While she is "doing her thing" I put my hand on the shaft and start helping her out.

I think it gets the girl to think she's doing most of the work, while you are lending a hand. This is similar to the girl her rubbing her clitoris while the dude bangs her.

Sam101 · Aug 26, 2014

Some girls are really bad at it. And by bad I am saying, Let's never do this ever again.

Some girls are naturally good at it (rare) and some had enough dick that they are /really/ good at it.

I find bj's a good stimulation, but I still prefer to orgasm from penetrating her, otherwise, I am still pent up even after orgasm and that is pure torture.

Common things girls do to ruin the experience after you are oh just so close:

- Catching on your dick with their teeth
- Trying too hard - it is so off-putting
- Sucking too hard - doesn't help really
- Dry mouth - gets very unpleasant
- Deep throating and then choking on your dick
- Breaking off and talking, "Is this good for you?"
- Not enough rubbing of the sack and attention else where needed
- Too much focusing on the tip
- Too fast or Too slow

Basically, you need to teach her how to give BJ's properly, otherwise she'll just be "let's get this over with quick". Same as with sex so she isn't ramming herself on your dick thinking you like it very much (ouch!)

Then again, if she's shit at it you can always ditch her.

R.A.D. · Aug 31, 2014

I agree the girls skill has everything to do, even before that girls who are really sexual can get you very hard and very hot long before the blowjob while others require a lot of work.

You should talk to the girl and lead her, remember that many guys are like monkeys in full fervor and they will cum even by looking at a girl. So there is a chance that girl never really learnt how to do it and she will be glad to know how to please a man. Every girl i let her know what i feel and what she could do to make me feel more pleasure because of what she is doing really appreciated it, they just feel better with themselves. You should be able to establish the right kind of trust first or she will take you for a pervert in a wrong way.

NarrowJ · Sep 3, 2014

I could NEVER EVER get off from a blow job until maybe like a year ago or so.

Before I was skilled with women, I had to actually beg them to suck my dick. And when they did do it, they did a shitty job and wouldn't stay down there long enough to do anything for me. So, obviously I couldn't get off from THAT.

When I got more skilled with women, and had them ripping my belt off and tearing my pants down and sucking me off like a porn star, it suddenly became super easy to cum from blowjobs. Go figure...

My secret bullet is to have about 3-4 drinks. Then, I can pretty much FULLY control when I blow my load. I won't just bust a nut, I'll have to concentrate a bit to do it. It's pretty awesome when a chick's like, "I want you to cum on my face!" and then you're like "hmm ok bitch!" haha

J.J.

Nimiety · Sep 15, 2014

It also takes me a long time to get off from a blowjob. I love getting head, but I actually find that not only does it take me forever to cum, but I last longer during penetrative sex if I've gotten a little oral to start. I have a very sensitive crown, and I find that oral actually overstimulates me in a weird way where I just can't climax easily.

SaltyT · Sep 25, 2014

Yes, some of us just can't come, but if you look at some porn stars they make the man com in seconds so it depends on the technique, hey pornstars do this for living and your girl just for fun.

Have you ever tried stop masturbating for more than a week, do this and then tell your girl exactly how you'd like to get blowed (rhythm, how she uses her mouth, watch the teeth, her hands) In other words, educate her. This made it a better and more satisfying experience

[GC]Jay · Oct 3, 2014

Hm, depends on the girl's technique, depends on your mindset? You can get off masturbating while you cant when a girl does it for you...so I guess it depends on this two.

Perhaps shes not doing it right to make you stimulated enough to make you come. I don't know. :/

For a handjob I guess slow strokes making it build would be quite a big release at the end. For a Blowjob, using both her hands or one hand stroking it while sucking it at the same time or sucking it while she tugs on your balls or stroking it while she tugs on your balls and sucking it at the same time would be like a massive release.This also goes for the handjob, she tugs on balls and strokes on it.

This works for me so I don't know for the others.

Also depends on the girl really, if shes real amateur and open about then teach her what you see in porn if shes conservative then it might take a while or not at all.

lux7 · Oct 3, 2014

One thing I'd like to add is that I would see it more as a lucky thing than the other way around.

It means, most of the times, that you can last longer and better control yourself while for many ppl one of the most common problems is that of coming too soon.

Can't get off from blow/handjobs

Jimigod

Rookie

topcat

Modern Human

Richard

Tribal Elder

Mr. oblivious

Tool-Bearing Hominid

H-Two-O

Space Monkey

robertnyc

Space Monkey

lux7

Cro-Magnon Man

Estate

Cro-Magnon Man

BarryS1

Cro-Magnon Man

Sam101

Space Monkey

R.A.D.

Space Monkey

NarrowJ

Tribal Elder

Nimiety

Rookie

SaltyT

Space Monkey

[GC]Jay

Space Monkey

lux7

Cro-Magnon Man