Why are girls attracted to dominance so much? why is it masculine to be dominant

and to go after what you want, to go for what you want, what is the logic behind why going for what you want, going after what you want, leading, why are those masculine behavior? i never understood the logic behind it, i will admit, there are times i have feelings of anger and resentment towards girls because of how passive they are in the dating/mating game. I don't know why but me personally, i just never felt like a naturally, dominant guy by nature, i'm not a naturally aggressive guy, so i don't know if this has to do with my genetics, if i'm just a genetically natural born Beta male, or if it has to do with parental upbringing, childhood social experiences, etc. The times i have tried, attempted to be dominant, i never felt pleasure in feeling it, i felt distaste for it.

But i feel at the same time, if i had plenty of great, good reference experiences, then maybe i wouldn't feel this way, the biggest lack of a reference for me is that i'm 24 and have never had a girlfriend before, it's very hard to be confident and have high self-esteem if you have never had a girlfriend before. Although it's not like i haven't really tried lately, i've been doing daygame with a wing-man lately, gotten a few numbers but the girls all flaked, and same with girls on tinder, and the times i do manage to get a first date, i never end up getting a second date, even though i attempt to set up another date it's just that the girl no longer ends up being interested to see me for another date. Ya my mindset is just because it's the way it is doesn't mean i have to like it or enjoy it, so seriously, what is the logic behind why women are instinctively, innately attracted to dominance so much, a guy that takes what he wants? I feel i need to only be in a good mental, emotional state in order to approach women but at those times, it is rare, because i have resentment towards the gender role that guys have to be the initiators.

Don't give the typical responses such as "your a Man, thats why, because you have Balls", seriously, why are a guys balls, testicles a symbol or represent strength, power, dominance, when in reality, balls, testicles are physically sensitive? even Chuck Norris or the late John Wayne couldn't handle getting kicked in the groin.

Re: Why are girls attracted to dominance so much? why is it masculine to be domi

i hope this is helpful:
Evolutionary biology probably has a better explanation of the reasons but from a pragmatic perspective, what does it matter? Female energy wants to love and adore and be protected by and mate with male energy's strength, focus, and ultimately success. Fighting it is like punching waves at the beach. It's bigger than any of us and like all rules of nature it's neither good nor bad, it's just reality. It's funny though because this energy can manifest itself in so many ways that you may not always see the options. Seemingly effeminate men can still lead. Sometimes the guy's strength is that he's pretty, or intelligent or creative, or just socially fun but not physically or even attitude wise super dominant. Short guys, skinny weak guys, obese guys, plain ugly guys have success with women by the way they carry themselves. I knew an attractive girl that told me she would marry Steven Hawking and have his baby in a heartbeat. So try to have an open mind so you can discover which particular manifestation of male energy you want to project into the world if your aim is to attract women.


You got numbers with day game and first dates. Win, win. You got some lessons about running those dates and some lessons from attempts earlier in life. Here is another lesson I'm calling out. Don't be a victim! Victimhood is a mindset disease that saps your ability to progress. It will get you sympathy which could even garner attention but it will alienate non-victim minded people and the attraction from women is pulling on her caregiver nature, not her sex drive which means even if she sleeps with the guy, it won't be hot, or awesome, or any of that which makes for a sexual relationship she yearns for.
Check out the article on Byronic traits for reframing your non girlfriend scenario. Check out articles on logistics luminal space and fractionization to get to the hookup. Make connecting with girls, flirting with them, a lifestyle not a thing you do to accomplish a discrete end.

Re: Why are girls attracted to dominance so much? why is it masculine to be domi

Parkour said:

i hope this is helpful:
Evolutionary biology probably has a better explanation of the reasons but from a pragmatic perspective, what does it matter? Female energy wants to love and adore and be protected by and mate with male energy's strength, focus, and ultimately success. Fighting it is like punching waves at the beach. It's bigger than any of us and like all rules of nature it's neither good nor bad, it's just reality. It's funny though because this energy can manifest itself in so many ways that you may not always see the options. Seemingly effeminate men can still lead. Sometimes the guy's strength is that he's pretty, or intelligent or creative, or just socially fun but not physically or even attitude wise super dominant. Short guys, skinny weak guys, obese guys, plain ugly guys have success with women by the way they carry themselves. I knew an attractive girl that told me she would marry Steven Hawking and have his baby in a heartbeat. So try to have an open mind so you can discover which particular manifestation of male energy you want to project into the world if your aim is to attract women.


You got numbers with day game and first dates. Win, win. You got some lessons about running those dates and some lessons from attempts earlier in life. Here is another lesson I'm calling out. Don't be a victim! Victimhood is a mindset disease that saps your ability to progress. It will get you sympathy which could even garner attention but it will alienate non-victim minded people and the attraction from women is pulling on her caregiver nature, not her sex drive which means even if she sleeps with the guy, it won't be hot, or awesome, or any of that which makes for a sexual relationship she yearns for.
Check out the article on Byronic traits for reframing your non girlfriend scenario. Check out articles on logistics luminal space and fractionization to get to the hookup. Make connecting with girls, flirting with them, a lifestyle not a thing you do to accomplish a discrete end.

Click to expand...

ya your right, what does it matter as to the reasons why? ya you don't have to answer that, because knowing the answer won't change anything, women are not going to change, but another reason, why do you think a guy should not have resentment over the gender role that he has to be the initiator, to be the one that leads, takes the lead? i remember one guy said ". "As the man, the ball is in your court to direct the interaction. If you want to kiss her, or bring her home, you can lead her through those motions, and if she goes along with it, you’ll have a great night.

Tell me, is this not a gift? Instead of waiting around and hoping, you can control the outcome. Sure, things won’t always work out the way you’d like, but at least you KNOW – unlike the guys who are afraid to lead and never go for what they want in the first place."

You see, thats what i hate with a huge passion, i don't care if us guys don't have to do the waiting, because you are still going to be the one that risks rejection every step of the way, and specifically, how does being the initiator give us choice when the girl still ultimately is in the position of saying Yes or No to things? yes we can go up to any girl we want while the girl is limited, she can't control who comes to her but the girl still has the final say.

Re: Why are girls attracted to dominance so much? why is it masculine to be domi

It's probably like this because she carries the eggs and can become pregnant. If women were initiators while carrying eggs, I doubt it would be of any benefit for them. They would have to seduce us guys into giving our sperms to get them pregnant and create cute offspring. And that seems a little... weird, don't you think?

She is the one to become pregnant and has to decide if she wants to give birth to the child of a certain man.

Being dominant is part of what some women screen for whether conscious or subconscious. As the chooser and pregnant gender, she's naturally bound to be passive in regards to the actual things that happen between her and the initiator. You must convince her that you are the best mate for her and make her bear your child. The initiator has a huge advantage if he's naturally dominant simply because "if he knows how to get what he wants, he must certainly have an idea how to get me if he wants to". It's some kind of preselection of your past actions. But besides that, you just tend to persist more if you're used to being dominant and try to seal the deal more often.

So you can't really blame women for being the choosers with their indecisiveness and passivity. They actually have to be this way.

Now, why should she pick you?

Re: Why are girls attracted to dominance so much? why is it masculine to be domi

a-jay said:

It's probably like this because she carries the eggs and can become pregnant. If women were initiators while carrying eggs, I doubt it would be of any benefit for them. They would have to seduce us guys into giving our sperms to get them pregnant and create cute offspring. And that seems a little... weird, don't you think?

She is the one to become pregnant and has to decide if she wants to give birth to the child of a certain man.

Being dominant is part of what some women screen for whether conscious or subconscious. As the chooser and pregnant gender, she's naturally bound to be passive in regards to the actual things that happen between her and the initiator. You must convince her that you are the best mate for her and make her bear your child. The initiator has a huge advantage if he's naturally dominant simply because "if he knows how to get what he wants, he must certainly have an idea how to get me if he wants to". It's some kind of preselection of your past actions. But besides that, you just tend to persist more if you're used to being dominant and try to seal the deal more often.

So you can't really blame women for being the choosers with their indecisiveness and passivity. They actually have to be this way.

Now, why should she pick you?

Click to expand...

well if more people just accepted and admitted that women were the real choosers, selectors in the dating/mating game, it would be so much easier for me to accept this gender role, people will make arguments such as "The woman is not really the chooser.

Women are passive-- they can only choose men that have the balls to meet
them.

Put in other words, a woman has to stand there and wait-- she can only
meet guys that are introduced to her, or introduce themselves. (if a
woman does take more initiative, she be called a slut or "easy", so
women are very passive). So in this sense, women are very limited to
who they can even meet.

As a man, you can go out and meet every woman you want. You are not
limited in any sense by who you can meet." or they will say: The other advantage that you have as a man is that you really have more choice than a beautiful woman.

A beautiful woman is really limited to meeting people that are either in their social circle or man that come up to her and most men that come up to her are either going to be drunk or uncomfortable or weird or creepy because it’s not in women’s social conditioning to go up and just meet people.

It’s not in a woman’s social conditioning that it’s acceptable to meet whoever she wants. Usually because women get attention anyway, they don’t really feel that need to go up to people and they are afraid of being shamed by their friends, by their family, by men that they’re sluts so they feel a lot of fear about going up and meeting people.

Whereas as a man, you can meet any girl you want. If you see 30 beautiful women in your day, in your week I mean, you can go up to all 30 beautiful women, introduce yourself and you’re probably going to have sexual chemistry with one or two of them, so you actually have a lot more options in terms of who you want to meet, when you want to meet.

It’s basically your destiny is more in control. You’re more in control of your destiny. Your destiny is in your hands where women have to kind of passively glide through life and hope that a cool guy introduces himself. They are really at the mercy of which guys are going to say hello to them, so that’s a great advantage you have is that you are in control."

Yes the man can go up to any woman he wants but the woman is in the position of power of accepting or declining, or allowing it to happen or not.

Re: Why are girls attracted to dominance so much? why is it masculine to be domi

I won't talk about why it's "attractive" to be "dominant" because there's a plethora of answers you'll find and honestly, it's not so important to understand why so much as it is to understand what "dominance" actually is.

Dominance isn't aggression, it isn't anger, and it isn't being physical. That's just bullshit that men, who are actually weak, spoon-feed to other men as a social expectation but the reality is that it's complete bullshit. The toughest and most dominant guys I know are martial artists who never have to rely on their fists, or their anger and instead are experts at building people up and encouraging them to however they can. Their dominance doesn't come from anger, their dominance is given to them by the people who love interacting with them. I hope that makes sense.

You also have to keep in mind that up until very recently in our history women were viewed as weak; women didn't have the right to work, didn't have the right to own property, etc. and they were completely dependent upon having a husband. For nearly all of our history, "balls," a "penis," etc. were symbolical representations of men who, at the time, were viewed as powerful and domineering. These men then went on to have sons who learned this "expectation" by watching and absorbing their communities, their fathers, etc. You have to keep in mind that these beliefs and values are cultural and as such are taught and learned, they are not inherent to our biology as humans. To prove that point their have been tribal societies in history that were lead by women and were very matriarchal in nature.

Itachi, from Naruto, may have said it best; "You don't become Hokage to be acknowledged, you become Hokage because you are acknowledged." The same applies to dominance and attraction, you're not dominant because you display it, you're dominant because people choose to see you that way. Gandhi was definitely a dominant person but wasn't aggressive or angry and yet millions of people acknowledged him in such a way, Martin Luther King is another great example, etc. Men who are aggressive in the stereotypical view (anger, physicality, talking shit, etc.) typically suffer from insecurities and highly internalized fears (my dad, for example) so the only women who are attracted to that are women who are just as insecure.

So, after my rambling about this, I'd like to say this; Keep in mind that like attracts like; the core of who you are attracts the same kinds of people, if you're a happy-go-lucky person then you will attract those same kinds of people, if you're down in the dumps all the fucking time then you will attract those kinds of people, if you go after what you want without settling for less you will attract those kinds of people (and those people are the ones who are actually dominant).

Also, keep one other thing in mind; "dominant" men in the stereotypical view are only attractive as short-term partners but across the boards fail to meet requirements as long-term partners. Girls hook up with the "bad boy" but never date him seriously, or marry him hardly ever.

Last but not least, throw this fucking idea out that you need to be dominant in order to succeed with women. If you're not happy with it then you don't need to accept it as a universal truth; do whatever the fuck you feel is best for you and you'll succeed tenfold more than trying to do what you think people want you to do or be. If you try something out and it leaves a bad taste in your mouth then you know it's not for you, buddy. It doesn't mean you're a beta, it doesn't mean you're not alpha, it doesn't mean you're a pussy.

Fuck. As I type more I keep ending up with more and more to say. When it comes to attraction I run on the idea that your vulnerability is what sparks genuine attraction because everybody has vulnerabilities. Admitting you have vulnerabilities and choosing to look them in the eye and confront them takes a shit ton of courage; more courage than it takes to yell at somebody, and I think living out your vulnerability is the most dominant thing a person can do because, again, it takes an incredible amount of will, strength, and inner fire to admit you have weaknesses and flaws instead of shooing them under the rug. Opening up, owning what you want, what you feel, what you think, etc. takes nothing but courage and it's attractive because most people cannot do it.

Think about legitimate intimate sex, opposed to fucking or getting laid; the most pleasurable act on the motherfucking planet for two people is the direct result of vulnerability even if it's only physical vulnerability; exposing your body, opening up your vital organs, etc. is nothing but vulnerability... and it's also the prerequisite to true joy, attraction, and peace. If you don't like the notions of typical dominance and aggression then don't fucking listen to them; carve your own path Jaeger!

-Richard

Re: Why are girls attracted to dominance so much? why is it masculine to be domi

JaegerBeta92 said:

well if more people just accepted and admitted that women were the real choosers, selectors in the dating/mating game, it would be so much easier for me to accept this gender role, people will make arguments such as "The woman is not really the chooser.

Click to expand...

Jaeger, this quote is somewhat contradicting the rest of your post. To me it seems like you know how things really are AND accept it to some degree. Yet, because you have run into some people who won't accept it, YOU can't accept it either. If this is the case, I understand. People want to dominate you with their point of view (see what I did there) and make you submit to it.

You will eventually learn that when you accept the way things are, you don't care what others believe or think. You just shrug and smile for yourself because they are denying OR lacking knowledge how things really work. Usually this is societal programming by media, family, peers and so on, or even bad experience.

Richard said:

Dominance isn't aggression, it isn't anger, and it isn't being physical. That's just bullshit that men, who are actually weak, spoon-feed to other men as a social expectation but the reality is that it's complete bullshit. The toughest and most dominant guys I know are martial artists who never have to rely on their fists, or their anger and instead are experts at building people up and encouraging them to however they can. Their dominance doesn't come from anger, their dominance is given to them by the people who love interacting with them. I hope that makes sense.

...

Itachi, from Naruto, may have said it best; "You don't become Hokage to be acknowledged, you become Hokage because you are acknowledged." The same applies to dominance and attraction, you're not dominant because you display it, you're dominant because people choose to see you that way. Gandhi was definitely a dominant person but wasn't aggressive or angry and yet millions of people acknowledged him in such a way, Martin Luther King is another great example, etc. Men who are aggressive in the stereotypical view (anger, physicality, talking shit, etc.) typically suffer from insecurities and highly internalized fears (my dad, for example) so the only women who are attracted to that are women who are just as insecure.

Click to expand...

As a martial artist myself and also an instructor, I can say all of this is 110 % true (and loved the Naruto reference haha).

Socially calibrated people quickly notice whether you are the guy displaying dominance beucause of your insecurities or beucase that's the way you are genuinely. Even less calibrated people, but who are dominant themselves can spot the the difference between the insecure ones and genuine ones from a thousand miles, simply because they know what it's like to be the genuine dominant guy.

Re: Why are girls attracted to dominance so much? why is it masculine to be domi

ya one guy who i really hate with a huge passion is Luke Eilers, better known as Gold Jacket Luke, he has made statements like this in the bodybuilding relationship forum: "I feel bad for girls. They can't choose who they date like men can. (they can give signals).

Men have freedom. Men go for what they want.

If a women goes for what she wants.. it's a turn-off."

Men's penis' penetrate the world. Women's vaginas go inward.

It feels amazing to be nervous, yet approach a girl anyways coming from a genuine place. It almost has a feeling of conquering, but it's not conquering at all.

That is healthy masculinity.

If you are complaining that women have it easier... you are simply a pussy.

Part of masculine energy is hard work, and penetrating the world. And only after you've done it a lot... it starts to seriously feel amazing. It's a rush. You wouldn't have it any other way.

And the feeling of a women kind of "surrendering" to your loving penetration.. there is possibly no better feeling. And women will help you out too. Women give off TONS of signals. Most guys are oblivious to this. Women are on our sides.

We can be men, or complaining boys.

I love being a man.


And anyway, women have their whole own sets of problems too. Start dating one and you'll soon learn.

Men and women are like yin and yang. They go together perfectly. They both have an equal amount of issues. Women often lose their sexual value as age goes on, while men's sexual value grows as they age as they gain more experience and character. That's one disadvantage women have. Also women have lots of issues of being used by men, and men not liking them for them. Or men cheating on them. It's easier for women to get laid sure... but the ironic thing is women don't care about raw sex just as much as men. Women are more into intimacy and trust. And if a women trusts you... then they love sex just as much if not more than men. But women have to worry about their reputations (being a slut), and whether they can trust a guy a lot more than men.

Men and women are balanced. If you don't think so... you are simply an unexperienced pussy who needs to work on himself and experience women more.. or you live in a repressed culture such as the middle east.


..If you are going to spend your time complaining that women have it easier... quite simply you are a pussy. You are a coward.

You need to become a hero, improve your life and self, and go venture into the land of women. Be nervous and act anyways.

Over time as you experience, you wouldn't have it any way. Penetrating (in a loving way) and showing up in the land of women is one of the most exhilarating things a man can do."

"I love leading.

"I am so glad I am a man. Feels SOOO good to make moves. To be the leader. To be the action taker.

I feel bad for girls that it's not really their role to lead. That when they lead they get judged by others that they are a "slut" or "easy".

I wouldn't have it any other way brah. I love being able to lead. I love that the power is completely in our hands. I wouldn't have it any other way."

I feel bad for women. Being the initiator is awesome.

Men get to decide what they want to do with their life. Girls just give signals and have to wait to who come.

The fact that we have the power is something to be embraced and to be thankful for brah. We get to choose. I wouldn't want it any other way.

Feels alpha and super masculine being the guy who goes after what he wants and being the initiator.

Imagine like a Spartan gladiator from 1800 year ago reading what you post bro..

He'd cringe so hard that you wish you were feminine, rather than LOVING the challenge of being the initiator and the immense rewards that come from that. Feels soo good man to go after what you want."

I feel bad for girls. (srs) because it's not socially acceptable for them to initiate.

Guys who think or act like him, i feel like punching their lights out, punch him really hard, phrases such as Man Up, Be a Man or Grow a Pair, Grow some Balls, only add fuel towards fire towards my resentment that us guys are expected to be the confident assertive ones, be the initiators.

Yes i know that this forum is meant to be solution-oriented, whining and complaining will never help or solve anything!, but just a few days ago, had another first date with a girl that didn't turn into a second date, even though i attempted to set one up with her. If it was possible, let's say the gender role that guys have to be the ones to approach and make the first move, be the initiators, aggressors, will remain forever that way for eternity, but it changed like this, sometimes over the years i have wished that the human mating dance, courtship ritual was like that the way other animals do it. For example, how Lions do it:

"In the animal kingdom, when a male lion comes of age he begins to make his move to acquire a female lion to breed with. If he’s unsuccessful with one group of females, he goes to another area and meets some more. Unlike us human males, a lion has to fight and sometimes kill another lion to take over the pack and territory so he can then breed with the female (s).

As a human man, you simply have to walk over and talk to women and if you’re able to get her attracted by displaying confidence, social intelligence and masculinity, then she is not only going to be interested in having sex with you, but she’ll most-likely want to be your girlfriend or wife. After you’ve had sex, she’ll fall in love with you (if you’re a confident guy and make her feel how she wants to feel emotionally)"

Reason why i have sometimes wished life, reality was like that, is because if i have to fight another guy in order to get the girl, and i lose the fight, at least the fighting will release anger, rage, stress, frustration over rejection and not getting laid.

Re: Why are girls attracted to dominance so much? why is it masculine to be domi

give me reasons why you think a man should not resent or detest having to be the one that leads and takes action, initiates, hunts? can a guy still succeed taking action, leading, initiating, making the first move, even if he hates it? like he just does it because he has to, not because he wants to, he has to do it because there is no other way around it? Even all the arguments that argue the positives about it, such as "it gives you choice, you don't have to do the waiting", none of those statements will ever make me like it or enjoy it.

If a guy has this mindset through his videos, including Elliot Hulse videos:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bu7ct6Gl-0A
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PODtipE3MHc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCgVefEphdg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxY4F02uVVI

If a guy can succeed taking action, leading, initiating and at the same time hating it, resenting it, and find success while doing it, then that would motivate me to take more action, the reason why it stops me is because i feel women will be able to sense my vibe that i resent doing those things and unfortuneately will turn them off.

Re: Why are girls attracted to dominance so much? why is it masculine to be domi

JB92,

Leading, initiating, taking action, etc. is something that you'll detest in the early stages of learning to meet women because it's something that's difficult to do if it wasn't ingrained in you early in your childhood/teenage years. Unfortunately for most guys these days, being "passive" seems to be the norm.

However, leading/initiating is something where you start to see the "power" behind it once you've forced yourself to use it and start seeing the success that comes with it. Once you've recognized that you can create your own outcomes with women, you wouldn't want it any other way. But it's hard to fully feel that way about it until you've actually come to terms with it and learned to use it correctly.

So, I'd say that yes, as a beginner, you're going to hate the idea that you have to do all the work to get results. It seems easier that women just need to "accept" offers while men need to be the one to make the offers. However, once making offers becomes something you can do easily, suddenly you realize that you can make as many offers as you want, and you can make those offers to whomever you want, and it generally can result in more success than any woman can ever have waiting to get offers from men she wants those offers from. At that point, leading/initiating becomes a skill that you are glad that you've invested into as a man, and you're glad that it's available only to your gender (in this society, anyway).

- Franco

Re: Why are girls attracted to dominance so much? why is it masculine to be domi

Jaeger,

You may have a feminine-leaning nature. You can still get girlfriends and have sex with this, but it will come at a certain price. After reading everyone's responses, do you want to be more dominant or not?

If not, here's what you do: get a cool haircut, lose enough weight that you're skinny (but not muscular), dress well (hipster-ish), and be really nice. Approach women, and then literally let them do all the work. You can also flag women to approach you (if they don't think you'll approach, they'll do th work for you). Study how women seduce men and emulate them.

Hector

Re: Why are girls attracted to dominance so much? why is it masculine to be domi

Anatman said:

Jaeger,

You may have a feminine-leaning nature. You can still get girlfriends and have sex with this, but it will come at a certain price. After reading everyone's responses, do you want to be more dominant or not?

If not, here's what you do: get a cool haircut, lose enough weight that you're skinny (but not muscular), dress well (hipster-ish), and be really nice. Approach women, and then literally let them do all the work. You can also flag women to approach you (if they don't think you'll approach, they'll do th work for you). Study how women seduce men and emulate them.

Hector

Click to expand...

ya me personally, i never was interested in becoming the ultimate player, i never wanted to become a guy that has hardcore game in which he is able to hook up with and sleep with a new woman every week or every month, pull women from bars and clubs, one-night stand type of guy, no not that, i want relationships, i want girlfriends, i just want to become a typical normal guy who is able to get a girlfriend and if a relationship ends, he is able to get a new girlfriend, thats it. As for what Franco said, yes thats what i kinda meant, if i had good positive reference experiences with women, then i feel very likely i wouldn't resent, detest having to be the initiator, leader, etc. Because i'm pretty sure for a lot of guys who don't mind at all making the first move, being the initiator, leader, is because of their good positive past reference experiences with women, since they have had girlfriends before, it gives them the confidence, validation, self-esteem, reassurance that they know they are attractive already, so that makes them no longer take rejection personally anymore because they can look back and say to themselves in their mind "oh well at least i had her", it's hard to put into words but hopefully you get what i mean.

When you said "Leading, initiating, taking action, etc. is something that you'll detest in the early stages of learning to meet women because it's something that's difficult to do if it wasn't ingrained in you early in your childhood/teenage years. Unfortunately for most guys these days, being "passive" seems to be the norm."

I wonder what causes that specifically? people say it's because guys have to be raised and brought up a certain way in order to be manly, masculine like that. This is also what i have felt in recent years now, even though our past doesn't equal our future, it only does if we let it, it seems that a guys parental upbringing, childhood social experiences, environmental and school influences, have a much bigger impact on his dating life/sex life more than the other way around.

It doesn't really matter how a girl is raised or brought up because she doesn't have to do anything in order to make anything happen in her dating life/sex life because she gets to be passive, thats why i love these powerful quotes "Women are Born, Men are Made", "A Woman simply is, but a Man must become", “Becoming a man is a process, while a girl may mature into a women simply by biologically aging it is not the same with men. Many males die still boys, even if their biological age may be one hundred.”

"Girls naturally mature into women they don’t have to do anything to do so. However with a man he must be initiated into manhood by other men. A woman cannot turn a boy into a man, ever. Doesn’t matter how good her intentions are or how loving, caring, or whatever a woman is" I got those powerful quotes from a guy named Charles Ledge.

Re: Why are girls attracted to dominance so much? why is it masculine to be domi

JB,

it seems that a guys parental upbringing, childhood social experiences, environmental and school influences, have a much bigger impact on his dating life/sex life more than the other way around.

Click to expand...

Yeah, pretty much all of this.

The expansion of social media and the internet has mostly allowed the idea of "tip-toe around women and never disrespect them" to propagate everywhere. And to a certain degree, it's true -- don't abuse or hurt women if you can possibly avoid it. However, the extent at which this has been pushed has also prevented men from cultivating any form of "masculine" presence, which could have been more easily developed had young guys not been exposed to so much media to begin with. It's why guys from the 1940s and 50s never had these issues to the degree that we have them today -- they weren't exposed to the same level of conflicting views on men and women from all of the media that is available to us today. They just knew that women were supposed to be approached, so they started doing it early and building up personal reference points to improve their interactions (rather than reading too much online or watching too much TV that emphasizes false mental programming).

Also, having a masculine figure in your life certainly helps. Most of the guys that I know who were naturally good with women had a father or older brother who was very dominant with women, so they tend to grasp some of those traits. If you were raised in a very "feminine" household (as Hector has alluded to), then you didn't really have that masculine influence around you from an early age. Instead, you now need to take steps to re-program yourself and bring out that masculinity that women truly desire.

- Franco

Re: Why are girls attracted to dominance so much? why is it masculine to be domi

Franco said:

JB,

it seems that a guys parental upbringing, childhood social experiences, environmental and school influences, have a much bigger impact on his dating life/sex life more than the other way around.

Click to expand...

Yeah, pretty much all of this.

The expansion of social media and the internet has mostly allowed the idea of "tip-toe around women and never disrespect them" to propagate everywhere. And to a certain degree, it's true -- don't abuse or hurt women if you can possibly avoid it. However, the extent at which this has been pushed has also prevented men from cultivating any form of "masculine" presence, which could have been more easily developed had young guys not been exposed to so much media to begin with. It's why guys from the 1940s and 50s never had these issues to the degree that we have them today -- they weren't exposed to the same level of conflicting views on men and women from all of the media that is available to us today. They just knew that women were supposed to be approached, so they started doing it early and building up personal reference points to improve their interactions (rather than reading too much online or watching too much TV that emphasizes false mental programming).

Also, having a masculine figure in your life certainly helps. Most of the guys that I know who were naturally good with women had a father or older brother who was very dominant with women, so they tend to grasp some of those traits. If you were raised in a very "feminine" household (as Hector has alluded to), then you didn't really have that masculine influence around you from an early age. Instead, you now need to take steps to re-program yourself and bring out that masculinity that women truly desire.

- Franco

Click to expand...

ya, first time i became familiar with guys having to be the ones to make the first move and ask girls out first, i've resented it even when i was a teen, when i first found that out as a teen, so i wonder if it's a genetic thing, or those other factors. As for the parental upbringing, luckily i did not grow up with a single mom, i have both my Mom and Dad, so i sometimes wonder if my Dad failed me somehow, i remember one person asked me if who is dominant in my household, my Mom or Dad? and to be honest, i don't really know how to answer that, although my Dad has always been the one in charge, control of the finances, i don't think that is enough to be the dominant one in the household, so when someone said "Leading, initiating, taking action, etc. is something that you'll detest in the early stages of learning to meet women because it's something that's difficult to do if it wasn't ingrained in you early in your childhood/teenage years. Unfortunately for most guys these days, being "passive" seems to be the norm."

What do you think causes initiating, taking action, leading, to get ingrained in guys in their formative years, teen years and what causes it to not be ingrained? i know it's not good to worry about the past but still, if i ever have a Son someday, i don't want him to be the way i was in my teens and up to this current age.

Re: Why are girls attracted to dominance so much? why is it masculine to be domi

Slay,

What I'm trying to say is, I don't believe your goal should be to be as manly as possible if you want to become a seducer of women. I believe
Chase mentioned once that the old timers style isn't as good as someone a little more lively in hook ups.

I believe that you should be manly in your actions. Leading, taking what you want, etc.

I also believe you need to show some feminine traits to be successful. Things like giving value, deep diving, and facial expressions.

This is something that I would have never learned had I not spoken to Hector.

Click to expand...

I agree, to an extent.

I think the biggest takeaway, as you pointed out, is that you need to lead and take action when opportunities are available to you. Part of showing "confidence" to women is a man's willingness to go after something when he wants it. How you get there isn't necessarily as important as your "desire" to get there. Women can see when a man has genuine intentions behind his actions.

As far as how "manly" you should be, I think it's more important to be congruent with who you are. Are you naturally funny? If you are, do you enjoy being funny, or do you force it? Are you naturally high-energy or low-energy? Whatever your "natural" tendency is, you should learn to cultivate that and import it into your ability to lead and take action.

I am personally not a super "manly" guy myself (at least compared to the example you gave of Sean Connery), but I can be quite funny and even a bit goofy at times. However, I can mix and match that with assertiveness and dominance when it comes to my decisions and opinions. People respect me when I'm serious, and they love me when I'm funny. That combination of respect + love goes a long way, and it's congruent with the person I naturally am.

If your persona matches Sean Connery more than say... Ryan Gosling, then don't try to be Ryan Gosling. Be Sean Connery, and know when to properly lead and take action during interactions with women (and people in general). If you find yourself more like Ryan Gosling, then don't try to be Sean Connery -- just know when it's time to lead and take action in between your sarcasm and asshole-ish remarks.

JB,

What do you think causes initiating, taking action, leading, to get ingrained in guys in their formative years, teen years and what causes it to not be ingrained? i know it's not good to worry about the past but still, if i ever have a Son someday, i don't want him to be the way i was in my teens and up to this current age.

Click to expand...

To be honest, I probably couldn't tell you!

It sounds like my household was similar to yours; my mom is actually very strongly opinionated and often made some of the bigger decisions in the household. However, my Dad was also very ego-centric, and if my Mom tried to push him to say/do certain things that he didn't like, he would yell at her and attempt to put her in her place. In general, there was actual a constant battle for dominance in my household -- my mom was more assertive and would go on the attack, but my Dad was an immovable object. It certainly wasn't ideal from my perspective today, but it did help me learn a few things about relationships and dominance from an early age. And since my Dad wasn't a pushover, it also led to me being rather stubborn -- for better or for worse -- as well.

You just have to remember that you're the role model for your children. It's not so much about what you tell them (although that does have an effect) as much as what they see. So the most important thing to do is become the man that you want to be, and then continue to be that man around your children. If you have a son, he will likely learn and adopt from the traits you portray, so make sure you're never showing weakness in front of him if weakness is not something you want him to emulate. Likewise, show plenty of strength, decisiveness, and sure-handedness if you want your son to be more likely to adopt those traits.

- Franco

Re: Why are girls attracted to dominance so much? why is it masculine to be domi

"Leading, initiating, taking action, etc. is something that you'll detest in the early stages of learning to meet women because it's something that's difficult to do if it wasn't ingrained in you early in your childhood/teenage years. Unfortunately for most guys these days, being "passive" seems to be the norm.

However, leading/initiating is something where you start to see the "power" behind it once you've forced yourself to use it and start seeing the success that comes with it. Once you've recognized that you can create your own outcomes with women, you wouldn't want it any other way. But it's hard to fully feel that way about it until you've actually come to terms with it and learned to use it correctly.

So, I'd say that yes, as a beginner, you're going to hate the idea that you have to do all the work to get results."

Did you personally, yourself used to hate, resent, that guys have to do all or most of the work in getting a date, starting a relationship? or have you always embraced that? because i believe it varies per guys, i'm sure a lot of guys have naturally never had an issue with it, enjoyed or embraced that role, and other guys used to hate, resent, detest that they have to be the initiators, but eventually changed and molded themselves into a guy that enjoys, loves it, embraces it.

Re: Why are girls attracted to dominance so much? why is it masculine to be domi

JB,

Did you personally, yourself used to hate, resent, that guys have to do all or most of the work in getting a date, starting a relationship? or have you always embraced that? because i believe it varies per guys, i'm sure a lot of guys have naturally never had an issue with it, enjoyed or embraced that role, and other guys used to hate, resent, detest that they have to be the initiators, but eventually changed and molded themselves into a guy that enjoys, loves it, embraces it.

Click to expand...

I embraced it 110%. I absolutely loved the fact that I realized I could go out and create my own future with women. But that's because my prior experiences led me to feel that way...

I didn't start approaching women until after discovering GC. I was already 24 years old, and I had plenty of experience (some good and some bad) with women up until that point. However, most of the advice I was receiving at that moment was along the lines of, "the right girl just hasn't found you yet." However, my personal observations allowed me to see a different story: aggressive guys (and friends) were getting laid and getting into relationships left and right. Most of these guys weren't even "half" as amazing as I was (or so I thought to myself at the time), so I knew that something was wrong with my current mantra. Why wouldn't girls come to me? I'm awesome. I'm good-looking, funny, and have a great career.

So I didn't have a lack of confidence, but by the age of 24, I realized I should be having WAY more sex and girlfriends than I currently had; I wasn't a virgin at this point, but the number of girlfriends I had up until then was a big fat "0." There were lots of indicators that I was missing something, even though society/family/friends would tell me that I'm great and I just haven't found a girl good enough for me yet. But upon finding GC, I realized that mentality was rubbish. I understood that waiting for women to come to you was a game where you're always playing on the losing side. There's no winning with that mentality. And when I realized that approaching was something you can actually do and have women receive you well, I was ecstatic. I realized I didn't have to wait anymore. I could go out RIGHT NOW and possibly meet the most amazing women I've ever come across. Suddenly, the world completely opened up to me, and I felt free of the "just wait for the right one to show up" idealism that had plagued me for 24 years.

So for me, realizing I could suddenly control my life with women RIGHT now was extremely appealing. I had full control of the reigns, and I could MAKE things happen rather than WAIT for things to happen. This was a huge revelation for me, and it allowed me to fully embrace the mindset of leading and taking action.

I was never really opposed to the idea of men having to do all of the work because I was raised believing that that was just the way things were. However, I did resent that mainstream media had led me astray from what women actually want, and I realized that most of the stuff you read out there is completely detrimental to having success with women. This is why GC felt like an oasis to me -- it provided real, practical advice on, and understanding about, women. So in that regard, while I did resent that society had tried to program me to interact with women in a way that didn't lead to sex or relationships, I never resented the idea that approaching women and leading/taking action was a way to see much more success.

- Franco

Re: Why are girls attracted to dominance so much? why is it masculine to be domi

Franco said:

JB,

Did you personally, yourself used to hate, resent, that guys have to do all or most of the work in getting a date, starting a relationship? or have you always embraced that? because i believe it varies per guys, i'm sure a lot of guys have naturally never had an issue with it, enjoyed or embraced that role, and other guys used to hate, resent, detest that they have to be the initiators, but eventually changed and molded themselves into a guy that enjoys, loves it, embraces it.

Click to expand...

I embraced it 110%. I absolutely loved the fact that I realized I could go out and create my own future with women. But that's because my prior experiences led me to feel that way...

I didn't start approaching women until after discovering GC. I was already 24 years old, and I had plenty of experience (some good and some bad) with women up until that point. However, most of the advice I was receiving at that moment was along the lines of, "the right girl just hasn't found you yet." However, my personal observations allowed me to see a different story: aggressive guys (and friends) were getting laid and getting into relationships left and right. Most of these guys weren't even "half" as amazing as I was (or so I thought to myself at the time), so I knew that something was wrong with my current mantra. Why wouldn't girls come to me? I'm awesome. I'm good-looking, funny, and have a great career.

So I didn't have a lack of confidence, but by the age of 24, I realized I should be having WAY more sex and girlfriends than I currently had; I wasn't a virgin at this point, but the number of girlfriends I had up until then was a big fat "0." There were lots of indicators that I was missing something, even though society/family/friends would tell me that I'm great and I just haven't found a girl good enough for me yet. But upon finding GC, I realized that mentality was rubbish. I understood that waiting for women to come to you was a game where you're always playing on the losing side. There's no winning with that mentality. And when I realized that approaching was something you can actually do and have women receive you well, I was ecstatic. I realized I didn't have to wait anymore. I could go out RIGHT NOW and possibly meet the most amazing women I've ever come across. Suddenly, the world completely opened up to me, and I felt free of the "just wait for the right one to show up" idealism that had plagued me for 24 years.

So for me, realizing I could suddenly control my life with women RIGHT now was extremely appealing. I had full control of the reigns, and I could MAKE things happen rather than WAIT for things to happen. This was a huge revelation for me, and it allowed me to fully embrace the mindset of leading and taking action.

I was never really opposed to the idea of men having to do all of the work because I was raised believing that that was just the way things were. However, I did resent that mainstream media had led me astray from what women actually want, and I realized that most of the stuff you read out there is completely detrimental to having success with women. This is why GC felt like an oasis to me -- it provided real, practical advice on, and understanding about, women. So in that regard, while I did resent that society had tried to program me to interact with women in a way that didn't lead to sex or relationships, I never resented the idea that approaching women and leading/taking action was a way to see much more success.

- Franco

Click to expand...

even though i know this will never change, i feel what would make me feel better about that gender role about guys having to be the initiators, is if it was okay to go out and take action for the sole purpose of meeting women, but it seems if a guy goes out with that mentality, mindset, he comes across as trying too hard, needy, desperate, like i have heard people say, "the best time to meet women is when you are not trying to meet women" and that makes it feel like a paradox of "damned if you do, damned if you don't", how to take action and be the initiator, be assertive without coming across as needy or desperate.

Re: Why are girls attracted to dominance so much? why is it masculine to be domi

JB,

like i have heard people say, "the best time to meet women is when you are not trying to meet women"

Click to expand...

I don't know which folks you know that have said that, but I don't agree! That's typical "mainstream 'how to meet women' advice." If you read it and it doesn't make practical or logical sense to you, then you should question it.

I met my current girlfriend when I was specifically going out repeatedly with the intent of (eventually) meeting a girlfriend-quality girl. Granted, it took me about a year or so to meet her, but I slept with a lot of other very attractive women along the way, and it was well worth all of the time and effort I put into it!

- Franco

Re: Why are girls attracted to dominance so much? why is it masculine to be domi

Franco said:

JB,

like i have heard people say, "the best time to meet women is when you are not trying to meet women"

Click to expand...

I don't know which folks you know that have said that, but I don't agree! That's typical "mainstream 'how to meet women' advice." If you read it and it doesn't make practical or logical sense to you, then you should question it.

I met my current girlfriend when I was specifically going out repeatedly with the intent of (eventually) meeting a girlfriend-quality girl. Granted, it took me about a year or so to meet her, but I slept with a lot of other very attractive women along the way, and it was well worth all of the time and effort I put into it!

- Franco

Click to expand...

well thats nice, inspiring, so yes, sounds like a guy have success if he goes out for the sole purpose of taking action, meeting women, did you meet her doing daygame or night-game? and what type of setting did you meet her in? and i'm guessing you are in 20's right Hector? late 20's? or over 30?